Funnies Husband

Life With the BUBs (Part 3)

{Talking to the bff}
Me: Well, I haven’t set Mr. BUB’s Xbox on fire yet, so that’s good…
Julie: His what?!
Me:  His Xbox…
Julie: Oh!  I thought you said ex-girlfriend.
Me:  Well, I haven’t set her on fire either.
Julie:  That’s good.  I hear there are no epidurals in prison.
Me:  Excellent point.

Me: Skeeter was kicking my bladder the whole ride home.
Mr. BUB:  Oh yeah?
Me: Yep.  She’s grounded.  When she’s 16 and wants to go out on Friday night, I’m telling her no.
Mr. BUB:  Good thing her Daddy is a pushover.  He’ll say yes.
Me:  Ugh.

{Pregnancy brain} 
Me:  When can I order the baby furniture?
Mr. BUB: I told you to buy it yesterday.
Me:  Really?
Mr. BUB: Yep…You really don’t remember?
Me:  I forget a lot lately.
Mr.  BUB:  I know.  This is actually the third time you’ve asked about the furniture.

Mr. BUB: You smell pregnant.
Me: What?!  How does ‘pregnant’ smell?
Mr. BUB: (walks away)